


Hot Mess

by Sweet_Tea_Owl



Series: Insurance Fraud au! [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, au!, slight stalking, terrible parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-08 20:52:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5512922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_Tea_Owl/pseuds/Sweet_Tea_Owl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Len was an international thief known as Cold long before Barry Allen came along. But he's also millionaire Leonard Snart, Central City's most eligible bachelor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot Mess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marauder5sos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marauder5sos/gifts).



Leonard Snart was born filthily disgustingly rich. He didn't need to become the world renowned thief known as Cold. He certainly wasn't in it for the money and technically he wasn't even stealing anything. Every single one of his "victims" had needed the money and were selling something for well below what it was actually worth. He would buy the item and then take it using his signature cold nitrogen to break into wherever it was being kept. He would get the prize and the thrill of the steal, while the victims would get the money he paid for the item even though it was "stolen" and collect insurance on it. It was rather genius and no one suspected a thing. It's not like Len needed the money anyway. No one even thought to ask why everything Len tried to buy was stolen probably because the owners wanted to keep their money troubles quiet and told no one they were trying to sell it.

So Leonard Snart, son of the disgraced Lewis Snart, had a good thing going here. He didn't plan on getting caught like his father. His dad had been running a ponzi scheme for the majority of Len's young life and Len had been slowly and silently separating the inheritance his mother had left him and Lisa, from his father illegally acquired assets with the help of his mother's old lawyer. At the same time he was gathering evidence on the bastard. Lewis Snart was not a good father. Len doubted there was a universe where he was. Lewis' brand of parenting involved psychological abuse and drunken beatings. He was especially good at freezing out his children emotionally, treating them like they were objects, and hitting them where it wouldn't been seen.

Len had gotten only two things from his father. His last name and the ability to be cold. So when the Flash came speeding into his life he had no problem upping his game and letting his heists become more theatrical. And he decided to stop stealing things he could buy and move on to the things that were priceless. He even kept with his cold theme by anonymously acquiring the cold gun. He tried to avoid killing and he worked alone. Less variables to control. The second you kill someone is the second you were upgraded from common thief to murderer. Murderers draw more heat and that's just not Len's style. Len had managed to keep his crimes and his personal life separate and involving partners would mean that they would have to see his face eventually. Len was always thinking ten steps ahead of everyone, even the Flash. With the Flash's arrival on the scene came a new name. Captain Cold. Len had snorted when he'd heard that addition. Len had always been cold and a new hero wasn't going to change that.

So why did Len suddenly feel warm for the first time in decades when he met Barry Allen?

The CCPD was in one of Len's warehouses for a reason. They hadn't found out his identity, in fact he called them there. Someone had broken into his warehouse holding some very expensive scientific equipment. From what Len could tell from what he'd seen, the job had been rather professional. Then a man carry a case full of forensic equipment had ran right into Len before he could get a better look at the crime scene. He didn't look old enough to be there, with his boyish charm and good looks, but the second after he had finished apologizing profusely to a stunned Len, he had set down his bag and had got to work. The kid had started listing of things he had observed just by walking into the room while a head detective named West wrote everything he said down. Len got lost in watching the kid and didn't notice when he was being addressed.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" the kid asked with an adorable puzzled look on his face. Before Len could answer detective West said, "Barry, this is Leonard Snart. He owns this building. Mr. Snart, this is Barry Allen, one of our top forensic scientists"

"Nice to meet you," Len stuck out his hand to shake Barry's, amused. Not many people had no clue who he was. Barry took his hand to shake it and a spark of static electricity connected them. Barry blushed and apologized and Len fell hard.

The next few days after meeting Barry, Len spent all his time and resources finding out everything he could about Barry Allen. He was pretty smart and had top scores in all his college classes. His father was in jail for killing his mother. He believes his father is innocent. Barry had been in a coma for nine months after getting struck by lightening. Len wondered if he had lichtenburg figures. More often then not Len ended up imaging himself licking the lighting scars while the young forensic scientist writhed beneath him, begging. Len started planning his seduction. 

He called his sister and asked her if she had any ideas and she gave the generic answer of just be yourself. Len wasn't an idiot, he could tell that Barry was smart enough to know if he tried to act like someone he's not. Len took to planning the seduction like it was one of his heists with all the detail and elegance of his best. He gave it his single-minded focus and that's probably why he didn't notice the shadow creeping up behind him before pain exploded from the back of his head and he passed out.

Being saved by the Flash was, by far, one of the most surreal experiences Len had ever had. For a moment the Flash was standing the closest Len had ever been to him. He was asking him if he was okay and started to check him for serious injury. With his face so close to Len's, he was able to pick out the color of his eyes which were surprisingly familiar. Before Len could follow that train of thought any farther, a kidnapper tried to shoot Len. Then everything was moving to fast for Len to keep track and he forgot about it. A couple days later, Len found out that Barry Allen had been the one to find the key piece of evidence that led the Flash straight to the thieves. This also led him to find out that the thieves where actually after Len and had just been practicing getting past Len's security system. That's why the Flash had found him so fast, because forensic scientist extraordinaire had found out where they lived from one small patch of dirt he'd found at a crime scene. Len decided to implement his plan tomorrow.

First Len "accidentally" bumped into Barry while he was in line at Jitters. He started by thanking Barry profusely for finding out where he'd been taken and for saving his life and Barry blushed scarlet. Step one complete. Len made sure he ran into him a couple more times before he move on to the next step. He was walking out of the police precinct's interrogation room after giving his final statement, for the kidnapping and robbery, and he made sure to ask where the forensic lab was. A happy blonde detective pointed him towards Barry's lab saying he was still there and Len made his way up the stairs. Barry blushed when he saw him and Len asked Barry to dinner in a knee-jerk reaction. Barry blushed even more and gave some excuse about being at work all night filing reports even though Len could see his desk was mostly clear. Len knew he would have to get Barry to warm up to him but it looked like he might have a chance judging by that blush covering Barry's face, neck, and ears. The very next day Barry came to work to see a vase full of scarlet red roses sitting on his desk and the card asked him if he was free tonight and had Len's cell number written under it.

Barry didn't call Len even though he really wanted to. It's just that a relationship wouldn't be smart for Barry. Not with his duties as the flash, not to mention his abilities that had a habit of showing up in times when Barry had little to no self control. The next day it was chocolates. Each day a more expensive gift was on his desk with a card asking him if he was free for dinner. Barry kept bumping into Len at Jitters which was even more awkward as the days passed but Len never brought it up and he was never mad at him either. It was getting harder to ignore it so in an effort to get Leonard to stop he started to text him his answers. This was Barry's first mistake.

His second mistake was continuing to text Len and finally his resolve crumbled. He told himself he was agreeing to go to dinner with Len to stop the gifts. He texted Len to pick him up at seven and got to work on his reports in an effort to distract himself from his impending date. Unfortunately, his nerves caused him to speed through his tests and he was finished two hours early. He texted Iris to meet him at the West house as soon as she could and sped home. By the time Iris arrived Barry had gone through his closet numerous times and was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands and clothes surrounding. Iris knew immediately and asked him where Mr. Snart was taking him for dinner.

"How did you know Leonard Snart is taking me to dinner?" Barry turned tomato red.

"I'm a reporter, Barry. I have my ways," Iris started going through the piles of clothes surrounding Barry, "Eddie told me how he asked where your lab was when he came in to give his statement. And then Dad told me about how he has been sending you expensive gifts for the past two weeks," she picked up a red cardigan and sat it in Barry's lap and went back to the piles searching for a shirt and pants to match, "Honestly, I don't know what took you so long Barry. He's exactly your type and, from the information I've managed to gather, he's a great guy. Did you know he helped put his father in prison for the ponzi scheme he was running?"

"Yeah. Everyone knows that Iris. He's a great guy," Barry didn't get up and attempt to get up and help Iris. He trusted her to find the right thing for him, "He's an amazing guy, actually."

"Then why did it take you so long? Here try this," Iris handed him a shirt and a pair of jeans and sent him into the bathroom.

"It's complicated Iris."

"Well then uncomplicate it," Iris didn't ask him to elaborate and Barry came out of the bathroom, "Barry that's perfect! You always did look good in red."

Iris left not long after that for a date with Eddie and Barry started pacing. He'd managed to kill an hour and a half with Iris and now he was just trying to survive the last thirty minutes before Len would show up. It was ten minutes until Len was supposed to arrive and Barry had managed to talk himself in and out of going twelve times and was halfway through his thirteenth time when there was a knocking at the door.

Len was floored when Barry opened the door. He looked spectacular in red. Len had been surprised when Barry had accepted his dinner invitation that morning. He'd expected it to take much longer for Barry to give in. 

"You look amazing," Len took Barry's hand and felt a slight tremor move through it as Barry blushed and followed him to the car. 

They drove to the restaurant in complete awkward silence. When they pulled up to the valet parking Barry immediately regretted letting Len pick the venue. Somehow he'd forgot that Len was loaded and Barry felt under-dressed. Len got out of the car and came around to the other side of the car and opened Barry's door to help him out.

"Relax, Barry," Len could tell that Barry was unnerved, "There's not a solid dress code here and you look great anyway. Plus, they can't kick you out because you're with me and I can be pretty scary."

Barry relaxed a little and followed Len into the restaurant. They were seated without any problem and Len ordered a bottle of an expensive sounding wine, while Barry busied himself with looking at the menu. Len already knew what he wanted so he watched Barry pretend to look at the menu. He could tell Barry had already figured out what he wanted because he kept looking over the menu at Len and blushing when he sees Len looking right back at him. The waiter came back with the wine and they ordered their food and tasted the wine. Finally, Barry couldn't take the silence anymore and he started talking about anything and everything he could think of while Len listened. Sometimes he would interject with a comment of his own but mostly he was content to just listen to Barry talk. Eventually they came to the topic of Len's kidnapping and Len started telling Barry about how the Flash saved him from being shot. For a second, it looked like Barry was blushing, but it was gone the in the next, and Len decided to ignore it in favor of bringing up dessert. They were really hitting it off by the time their dessert arrived. Len had ordered the tiramisu and Barry had ordered a chocolate souffle. They dug into their desserts and Barry mentioned that he'd never tried tiramisu before and it smelled delicious. 

Before Len could properly think about what he was doing, he had a forkful of the espresso soaked dessert in front of Barry's face. Barry's thinking must have also been impaired, because he didn't hesitate to take the forkful into his mouth, not bothering to take the fork from Len's hand. They froze like that for a second and then the taste hit Barry's taste buds and he moaned. He blushed immediately and Len slowly withdrew the fork from his mouth.

"It's really good," Barry was still red and Len was having a hard time tearing his gaze from Barry's mouth. They quickly finished their desserts and Len paid the check. Barry had protested at first until he saw the bill. They got Len's car back from the valet and headed for Barry's house. This time the car was filled with a different type of silence. They pulled up to the house and Len walked Barry to the front door. Before Len could say anything Barry had both of his hands on Len's cheeks and his mouth on his. They kissed for what seemed like an eternity and would have kept doing so but a car pulled up behind Len's and a police light came on. Barry broke away quickly from Len and blushed for the hundredth time that night.

"That was great," Barry said, looking over at the car to see detective West pretending he was getting his stuff together so he could get out of the car like he hadn't just flashed his lights at them, "So I guess I'll see you later?"

"How about I buy you coffee tomorrow?" Len asked.

"Okay," Barry leaned forward and kissed Len on the cheek, "See you tomorrow."

Len walked back to his car in a daze. Barry Allen had turned him into a hot mess and Len was loving every second of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha I'm trash  
> This is vaguely based off of an idea I had while listening to Hot Mess by Cobra Starship  
> Happy Holidays!


End file.
